The question at the end took me by surprise. At first, I misread "self-sundowning," and when I read it correctly, I didn't understand. Now, I see just what you're saying and see that there's no other (or better) way you could've said it. Wonderful piece.
ending a poem with a question is always a bit risky tbh because it can sound like at the last minute you’re saying to the reader, ‘oh, I don’t know what I’m trying to say; you figure it out…’ but I’m very glad it worked for you - thanks for reading!
Reminds me of Frost's Need of Being Versed in Country Things. Frost humanizes his birds (they sigh and weep) but you maintain a distance, as only humans can wonder. That separation admits a strangeness that Frost doesn't have, and maybe isn't capable of.
I love the ending! It does come as a surprise (see Peter Whisenant's note below ⬇️🥰👏❤️leaving the reader with something to ponder. Well done! As poets, it's important to make our work stick with the reader, long after their eyes have left the page.
The question at the end took me by surprise. At first, I misread "self-sundowning," and when I read it correctly, I didn't understand. Now, I see just what you're saying and see that there's no other (or better) way you could've said it. Wonderful piece.
ending a poem with a question is always a bit risky tbh because it can sound like at the last minute you’re saying to the reader, ‘oh, I don’t know what I’m trying to say; you figure it out…’ but I’m very glad it worked for you - thanks for reading!
Very nice
Beautiful, arresting phrase – "tealeaf wine that sloshes round the twilight’s glass"
gotta say, I felt pretty smug when those words presented themselves to me
Own it, brother. Love when that happens.
This is wonderful! You might like one of the books I love most: "Lilith", by George MacDonald. One of the main characters is a raven...
looks fascinating, thanks!
Reminds me of Frost's Need of Being Versed in Country Things. Frost humanizes his birds (they sigh and weep) but you maintain a distance, as only humans can wonder. That separation admits a strangeness that Frost doesn't have, and maybe isn't capable of.
that’s very flattering (I think/hope!) appreciate your insight as always
I love the ending! It does come as a surprise (see Peter Whisenant's note below ⬇️🥰👏❤️leaving the reader with something to ponder. Well done! As poets, it's important to make our work stick with the reader, long after their eyes have left the page.
[cover image: M. Brückner, Götterdämmerung set design]